Through it all love remains

We are quite far from feeling excited at the moment. Issues with different working styles of both families, duties to hand over, wedding vendors to chase and meet up etc...Duties can be handed over, wedding vendors should be able to deliver their words, but we will take a lifetime to resolve familial issues and conflicts.
Much as the physical preparations need time and effort, we want to prepare for the spiritual, emotional and mental aspects as we enter into this marriage covenant.
Throughout the wedding prep, I have learnt to let go. Initially, I dreamed of the gown that will best flatter me, pink and cream roses that will adorn the church pews, invites and program booklets that will reflect our personalities and styles, photographer and videographer who can capture our moods, etc.
Now I am more mindful of the new journey ahead. We celebrate our wedding with hundreds of relatives and friends on this day, but we are going to walk down this road ourselves. And most importantly, to walk down this road together with God. To be completely humble and patient; be gentle, bearing with one another in love. This is specific to ZM and my relationship within our marriage. To add to that, I pray that our marriage will be a witness and channel of God's love to people we come in contact - the relationships we have outside our marriage. We have very good models in LK where 3 cords are better than 2, they are not easily broken.

Soon, it will not be your mum and my mum. They're going to be our family. Months or weeks ago, I would have said, 'we still have time to reconsider our wedding'. Now I say, 'let's go through this together'.........

Check out his loot

Please bear with me

If I keep on ranting about what is going to happen in 21 days' time.

After planning for more than one year, I wish this day will not come so soon for it will end too. I want to keep the anticipation.....

*halfway through writing this entry, I went to help ZM set up the IKEA book shelf. One wood panel landed right smack onto my right foot. PAIN!!!! Didn't realise how painful it was until tears started flowing.......*

That ended my blog entry for now.

Not an easy ride ahead

Mum's cell phone: How many $10 notes do you need?

Mine: I dunno. No mood liao.

Mum's cell phone: What do you mean?

Mine: Go and ask that man. 25 days left and still no urgency. I'm sick and tired.

Mum's: can you talk to him?

Tears flowed uncontrollably while I was walking through the Tangs underpass. Why am I dumping my money into the wedding and new home? Marriage is between the two of us, but so many people are involved in our wedding. Is this one-day event worth all the money, time and efforts poured into? Not to mention gallons of tears that had been shed. I felt like I was planning MY wedding, not our wedding. Yes, we have to be responsible at work, but work is not everything. You put in 101% effort at work, I only get what is left over. Many times I get nothing. I am definitely capable of writing up the program booklet, schedule, etc. all by myself. But I DO NOT WANT TO. I do not want to appear as if I want this and that to be done my way. Lead and guide me. I am willing to follow.

5 years 6 months and 14 days later into our relationship, I broke record by switching off my cell phone so that he couldn't reach me. Instead of asking him 'to go and die', I said 'I would go and die' first.

If you had noticed my puffy face and eyes this morning, it was because I bawled my heart and eyes out last night.

I clicked the 'Payment' button

Sala means wrong in Malay
Samui means cold in Japanese
But Sala Samui means where we're going to stay for honeymoon

Still holding hands

Please grip my hand tightly if I happen to let go of yours when the ride becomes bumpy and difficult.

Time in fast forward mode

Last night was our 5th night staying over at safe haven. Fridge stocked up with ribena, chrysanthemum tea, barley, milo, cheese, chicken pie, lettuce, tomatoes, eggs. Freezer with his fav fruit and nut ice cream. Cabinets with all the necessary utensils, crockery and instant noodles. Almost everything is in. Curtains coming in tomorrow. Haven is becoming our home.....

WIth this magnetic pull, there is tug-of-war at old nest (or is it becoming empty nest?). I guess reality is sinking in that I am finally moving out. This will be the transitional period for them.......and for me.

It's less than a month away. I always enjoy looking at brides - the radiant and demure beauty they exude, the attention and adoration showered upon by loved ones, the high-pitched exclamation of children and ladies when they see the bride, the brimming of tears in the guests' eyes at 'I do'..... but to be a one myself, er....... I'm not sure if I will enjoy the attention. No wonder Fi said she would rather wait at the end of the aisle for W.

I will enjoy myself, after all, it happens only once in a lifetime......