I just dumped my daughter at childcare this morning. She resisted going to school this morning after an extended weekend which started from last Friday till yesterday (Monday). Fever kept her at home yesterday. I had to take urgent leave again. The second time after last Tuesday for the same reason.
This morning, she was stickier than usual. Even didn't mind us sending her to por-por's home for the day, just to avoid school.
I had to drag her from car to lift lobby to lift to 2nd storey to centre - wailing all the way. She vomited out phlgem and some of the morning milk. First time and second time, maybe all of one week's phlegm was purged. I had to request the teacher to give her a morning shower first. At the same time, my watch was ticking. I was already 15 minutes late for work.
Told the teacher I would come back later to fill in the medication form. I went back to the centre again. I tried to peek in on her, but couldn't see her. Then I went to the back door. No Eunice. Heard a familiar voice crying for Mummy at the front door. By the time I briskwalked to front door, the teacher had already ushered a sobbing Eunice back to her class. I could still hear her pining for me.
With a heavy heart, I went back to office feeling crap like I abandoned her because my work was more important. I had to report to work on time. My annual leave is dwindling. Upon seeing that my boss had stepped out of office, I got back to the centre for the 3rd time to hug her and say a proper goodbye. Before that the teacher who was taking temperature warned me she might start crying again. It's ok, I replied. Teacher Sharon accompanied her out. Amazingly, she was calm.
That was our closure.
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My dad has been in hospital for more than 2 weeks now due to catheter-related infection and complications. We try to visit every day except for days when Eunice was fighting URTIs.
Some people ask us not to bring Eunice to the hospital everyday. One's my daddy, the other's my daughter. How should I choose?
I choose to risk my daughter's health and I am now paying for the consequences. For I don't know how many chances I still have to see my dad.
So to you and you who asked me not to bring my girl to hospital, my daddy is not your father. You wouldn't understand.
I will bring her to visit my dad after she has recovered.
